Oi You!
by closed20172017
Summary: What happens when Clemont gets drunk? Happy geekchicshipping day! AU SerenaxClemont oneshot. T for language.
Happy geekchicshipping day! Here's a sad attempt of a oneshot for you guys! It turned out a bit longer than I planned it to be…and the characters are quite OC. I'm sorry. I had no inspiration.

I'm also delaying the last chapter of TMT3W until next week. Shh, I'm spending all mah free time reading better fanfictions than mine.

I don't own Pokemon. If I did, I would probably be in Japan spending all my money on anime merchandise :/

 **Oi, You!**

What the hell had he done?

Oh pineapples.

Clemont nervously glanced at the blonde haired woman who sat near him, who was glaring at him. If looks could kill, he was most _definitely_ dead.

;;

It started when Dawn broke up with him. After a two year relationship.

 _"Hey, Clemont? I-I think we should break up. We can still be friends, right?"_

That stupid _'we can still be friends'_ bullshit again. He knew what she had done. He had seen it with his own two eyes a few weeks ago. Though, he couldn't quite handle the truth that she had fallen in love with someone else. She had been flirting, with her co-worker. What was his name again? Paul? The guy with the droopy eyes?

Anyway.

He was depressed, and heartbroken. So he called some of his friends, and they headed off to the local pub. Great idea, Clemont. He had totally forgotten what had happened last time he was drunk: a broken window, and two old ladies chasing him down the streets for three days. Pfft.

Nevertheless, it was already in the past. After a few drinks, he was already staggering around the small building, yelling at the wall about Dawn and her new fucking boyfriend.

Perhaps he was going mad at that point. It was, what, 12:30? Too many drinks, he thought, he would be crawling soon. But his hand reached out, and grasped another glass, and he downed it happily.

The music was too loud. His ears were burning. Yet, he still danced, laughed, cursed. The staff changed shifts, and he ordered more, until his vision was blurry, and his voice was slurred. He still had his glasses on, by the way. He hadn't lost them or anything.

Binge-drinking sucked. He was never going to do it again.

Anyway, he crawled around the room, flopping across the dance floor, like a fish out of water. The floor was horrible, too. Who would put bright white tiles in a place where tons of people throw up? And his eyes! The whiteness burned his eyes! Agh! Eventually, he reached his desired destination. The bar.

Then, he made a stupid mistake.

"Oi, you!"

Two blonde blurs turned around to face him.

"No, you! Man with the boobs! Get me a drink, will ya?"

He waited for a while, as the _'man with the boobs'_ walked towards him. He grinned goofily, hand ready for the drink.

But he was met with a slap to the face.

Then he blacked out.

;;

He woke up with a huge hangover. Who wouldn't after the stupidly high amount of drinks he had?

Strangely, Clemont found himself in an unknown bed. He looked up, and saw Ash. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, even _poked_ Ash to see if he was real.

Wait.

 _Wait, wait._

He was in the same _bed_ as _Ash?!_

Then he freaked.

;;

Ash cleared up the misunderstanding. The poor raven-haired man was almost too innocent. He had been passing the pub, and found the passed out blonde man, and brought him back to his house, tucking Clemont into the same bed as him.

Clemont couldn't decide whether to shout at, or to thank his former university flatmate.

He decided to do nothing, and went back home. Only, he remembered that Ash lived in the middle of nowhere. He had a stupid headache, and couldn't remember which direction was home. Or where he lived, for that matter. He carried on walking for a while, before seeing an empty taxi make its way past him.

"Oi, you!"

The taxi driver, turned around, smiled, and asked for the place he wanted to go to. Clemont thought for a moment.

"Um, I want to go to my house? It's quite small, and has two rose bushes on the front."

"Excuse me, sir, but I only accept addresses."

"Please, I know where I live! I live in a house, with two rose bushes-"

"Sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to leave my taxi."

"Wait, hang on!"

But he was shoved out onto the road again. _Great_.

Back to Ash. Blergh. Ash made crap food. Wait. Which way was Ash's house? He had to run to catch up with the taxi, and all the roads looked the same.

Oh pineapples.

He was lost, in the middle of nowhere.

Then, he saw it. A small café, just a few minutes away. _Might as well hang out there until my hangover fades,_ he thought.

He sat down, ordered a small breakfast, and realised he had no idea what happened the night before. Well, wasn't his day going great? First, he met his former flatmate, second, he was rejected by a taxi driver, and now he couldn't remember how he got the hangover-

Ah. He had just been friendzoned by Dawn. That was it. Then it led to a great big fat booze-fest. Wonderful.

He looked around the small café. It was painted in pastel colours, which reminded him of sweets, and candy. It was very calming.

Then, amongst the fluffy, tasty thoughts of candy, he saw a glaring face. She was pretty, with short blonde-brown hair that was carefully shaped around her head. Icy blue eyes bore into him, and he gulped.

What had he done? He had never met or seen this woman!

Eh?

That hair. It looked familiar.

Ohhh.

 _Oh_.

Pineapples.

 _'Man with the boobs'._ What had he been thinking?

;;

He sat there nervously for half an hour, the woman never ceasing to stop glaring at him. Geez! When was she going to stop? She was going to leave soon, _right_?

;;

Nope. Two hours later, and she was still there. Clemont sighed. He was too scared to move, since the woman's table was by the exit. He was doomed.

Maybe he could just walk out casually?

It was his best and only idea. He needed to get home.

So he stood up shakily, and shuffled to the door. As soon as the door closed, he let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. Mission completed! Now to get home-

"Hello blondie."

Clemont jumped, and paled. The woman had been following him! Ahh! Run!

"Don't even try to run from me."

"U-u-uhh…okay!"

Was the man seriously _shaking_? The woman rolled her eyes.

"Pfft, you know what? I forgive you for what you did yesterday."

"Eh? O-oh, I'm so sorry, I was drunk, you see-"

"I know that. I'm a bartender, of course I know when people are drunk."

She sighed, twisting a strand of hair around her finger.

"You know Ash, don't you? I saw him rescue you yesterday."

Clemont raised an eyebrow carefully.

"Yeah, I know Ash. He was my university flatmate."

"Great! Can you get me with him?"

Pause.

"What?!"

"I know it sounds stupid, but he showed me around this town once, and I fell in love with him at first sight!"

"That does sound quite stupid."

"Don't you _fucking_ offend me! Love is a very precious feeling, blondie!"

"Clemont."

"Pardon?"

"My name's Clemont."

"Oh. I'm Serena."

"Well nice to meet you Serena, but I'm afraid I can't help you since I don't live around here-"

"Your house is two minutes away from this café."

"…you mean I stayed in this café for three hours for absolutely nothing?"

"Yeah."

"And wait, how do you know where I live?!"

"I've been watching you for months."

"That's fucking _scary_ , woman!"

Serena rolled her eyes again.

"I'm serious about this love thing, you know. Please can you get me the man of my dreams?"

"I guess so. As long as you test my experiments, okay? I'm an inventor."

"Sure, sure, there's no harm in doing that, right?"

Clemont thought about it for a moment. Bonnie, his younger sister, was currently too scared to be the test subject, since his last experiment almost made her bald and legless.

"Ah, it's completely safe, don't you worry."

"Nice nice. I'll be wanting a nice, strong relationship in around a month, promise?"

"I can do that. Promise. Now, I've got to go!"

"Bye, Clemont!"

"See you soon!"

;;

Clemont had been raised up to always keep promises. So he decided to start on Serena's mission immediately.

He sighed, looking up Ash's number from his contacts list. There it was. He hadn't called Ash in ages! He tapped on the call button, and waited for the raven-haired man to pick up.

"Hello, Ash Ketchum here!"

"Oi, it's me, Clemont!"

"Hey, man! Haven't seen you in ages! We should meet up soon!"

"…Ash, we saw each other this morning."

"That was such a long time ago!"

And this was why he never called Ash.

"Gah, you know what? Let's just meet in a few days. I have a friend to introduce you to."

"Great! I have someone to bring too!"

"Good, good. I'll text you the details later, okay?"

"Yup, yup."

And then he hung up, and sighed. Serena would get her man. Let's just hope that Serena would at least invite him to the wedding after what he had done for her.

;;

Serena showed up at his door, wearing a short pink dress and a wide smile. She had piled on a lot of make-up, and her clothes looked more fitting for a party than a small meeting in a café. But, he didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he said nothing.

"It's the big day! Ahh! I'll have a boyfriend soon named Ash!"

Somehow, those words made him flinch a little.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go now, eh?"

;;

"Yo, Clemont!"

"Ash! Who's that?"

"Hmm? Oh! This is Misty, my new neighbour!"

"Hi! You must be Clemont! I've heard so much about you!"

"Nice to meet you, Misty. Haha, hope Ash doesn't still play loud music at night, eh?"

Misty rolled her eyes playfully.

"Oh he does! But I don't mind, they're nice songs."

Clemont glared at Ash slightly, knowing very well that Ash had a crap taste in music.

"What? Have you brainwashed her?"

"Duh, no Clemont. I would've done it on you earlier, haha. I only just learned to play the guitar."

"The guitar? You serious? When did this start?"

"A few weeks ago, when Misty moved in."

"Ah, just a sudden interest?"

"She looks like the type who would like some romantic music at night. Besides, if I played my music at night she would probably hit me."

Misty was a tsundere? Hmm, she was now arguing with Ash. It was plausible. And all Ash's changes were for Misty, huh? Serena wouldn't be happy to hear that. Oh, Serena! He had almost forgotten about her.

"Oh! This is Serena! She's my…"

Clemont glanced at her quickly, before continuing.

"Friend. Yeah…she's my friend."

He looked over at her, to see if he said something wrong, but she was gone. He glanced back at Ash, to ask him if he had seen Serena, but he's gone too.

On the ground, lay Ash, with Serena on top of him, hugging him to death.

"Ashhhhh! I can't believe we meet again! It must be fate! Destiny brought us together!"

Clemont raised an eyebrow. She was that much in love? He swallowed down his jealous feelings, and crouched down by Ash.

"Uh, you okay there, Ash?"

I knew from experience that Ash wasn't really very strong.

"Just fine, man. Just fine…"

Then Ash passed out.

Clemont sighed. Ash was _much_ weaker than he thought.

;;

It had been a few days after that incident, and Clemont set a date up for Ash and Serena. They were probably making out right now, thought Clemont, glancing up at the clock.

The doorbell rang.

It was probably Serena, coming to thank him. He opened the door, but instead of a joyful face, there was a pale face looking back at him.

"Hey, Clemont? H-he already has a g-girlfriend…it w-was that Misty girl…h-he doesn't l-love me!"

Then she ran forward and fell into Clemont's arms. Clemont was stunned. He had never been so close to a girl, or anything even near to a girl crying in his arms. He put his arms around her, as she sobbed.

"There are plenty more fish in the sea, you know. Don't get too depressed."

"L-like w-who?"

Clemont paused.

"Like me."

;;

"Dad!"

"What, son? Can't you see I'm doing an experiment?"

Clemont sighed, and took off his helmet, glancing towards his fifteen year old son.

"Hey dad, how did you meet mom?"

"Eh? Why the sudden question?"

"There's this girl I like…"

There was a giggle from the doorway. Serena revealed herself, and sat down by her husband, smirking. She nudged Clemont with her shoulder.

"Tell our son about our first meeting, Clemont."

"What? No way! That was the most embarrassing moment of my life!"

The couple bickered for a few minutes, until his son started glaring at him. Dang, he had inherited his mother's icy blue eyes…

"Daddddd! At least tell me some advice!"

"Okay, okay fine. When you want to get her attention, shout 'Oi, you!' at her."

"Wait, what?"

"Also, make sure you're not at a bar, and make it clear that you know her gender"

;;

A/N: jajaja crap oneshot, I know, but I was in a rush and I had no inspiration for a good geekchic oneshot. All were better suited for other shippings. Sorry for the slightly AU characters, gomen. I haven't watched too much of XY. Or Z, for that matter.

Song, you satisfied? Please, senpai, forgive me for my feeble attempts ;~;

Please review and favourite!

Cat ;3


End file.
